Thoughts on Life

A blog I aboslutely love to read is by a woman I went to high school with.  She recently (okay, 2 months ago) gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Blythe.  One of the reasons I love her blog is because she writes so eloquently and creatively, a trait that never fails to grab my attention.  Another reason is because of the beautiful baby girl of hers, and getting to see her grow and change!  You see, when I had Emma, I ended up struggling with post partum depression for a few months before realizing that my "baby blues" were something more and that it wasn't something I could take care of myself.  Therefore, I feel like I ended up not really appreciating the first few months of her life as much as I could have.  It was really hard living so far from home with a newborn and a husband who had to work long hours, and so I tended to just get swallowed up in a sadness that blinded me to the beautiful little miracle that God had entrusted us with. 

Looking back, this deeply saddens me and I can't help but feeling like I have lost out on some precious time that I'll never get back.  I think maybe that's why I enjoy Kelsey's blog so much.  Because I can see her little lady growing and thriving, and this really puts a smile on my face, because it helps me to remember things about Emma's first months that I thought I had forgotten.  Also, I am reminded at how much I L.O.V.E. being a mom, and how I feel I am ready for another little one.  I have decided that after I do have our next baby, that I will probably start some anti-depressants very soon after that so that I can really focus on and enjoy the new baby and his/her interactions with Emma, rather than plummeting into a crippling depression from the horomone levels being totally out of whack.  Anyhow, I guess this post was kind of a reminder to myself to enjoy every minute I have with her and to remember just how precious life is!