Motherhood

Motherhood....boy, sometimes it's not all I thought it would be.  For instance, the mornings when you hear your 3 year old kicking your bedroom door at 2 a.m.  Or the times when I can't hear the one show that I watch routinely (Once Upon a Time) over all of the screaming and crying.  When Emma clearly continues to misbehave even when I've told her a T.H.O.U.S.A.N.D. times to stop.  When Olivia cries multiple times during the night because she's lost the dang pacifier AGAIN.

Motherhood....boy, it's sooooo worth it!  Whenever Olivia grabs my fingers with her tiny hands in the middle of the night after I have replace the pacifier for about the ninth time :)  Whenever Emma comes up to me, hugs me, and tells me she loves me and is sorry for being naughty.  When both girls want to snuggle on my lap before bedtime and they end up holding hands, or Olivia pulls Emma's hair and she begins to bawl, saying that "Sister is being mean to me."  Those kisses, those smiles, those "crystal moments."  I pray that these moments last for decades to come, and am so thankful to my girls for making it all possible :)

My Purpose

So, lately I am feeling like I am just stumbling through life.  I don't know my direction or what I am meant to do with it, and I don't think about it often.  I tend to live in the moment, only occasionally looking into the future a few months to a year.  However, one direction I don't feel like I am being tugged towards is teaching.  Yeah, yeah, I know I have a teaching degree, but it's not what I feel like I am being called to do.  I know I love kids and I know that I love caring for them, but that's about where what "I know" ends.  Nick seems to be pressuring me to use my degree to teach, because I think he sees that as the only thing I can do with an English degree.  He argues "Why should you work somewhere that you don't need a degree for, and alongside others who didn't go to school?  Why not use the degree you worked years towards?"  Touche.  However, he doesn't even ask me if I enjoy working in child care, and just assumes that because I have the degree, that I want to teach, which could honestly not be farther from the truth.  However, if I say that to him, then I'm afraid he'll think I am lazy and don't want a "real" job....whatever that means. 

So here I am freewriting, as an exercise to get me thinking without feeling.  Is he embarrassed of me?  Does he see other women at his job and wish I were more of a professional?  Is it a money issue?  I can't figure it out, obviously.  And I can't figure myself out.  What a mess.  How am I supposed to know how to fill the role God intends for me, if I can't even figure out what that role is, and if no one wants to give me the chance to figure it out?!?  I don't know if I want to even publish this for everyone to see, but I think maybe some insight from others might be nice.  Please don't think badly of Nick, as I know (well, hope) that he's saying this stuff with the best of intentions...

4 Months Old!

My Dearest Little Olivia,

How is it that you are already 4 months old!  I mean, I remember a few hospital stays, a few rough nights, but it just has whizzed by for the most part!  You have really taken to daycare well, although some days we all have a hard time figuring out what you want (yourself included, I think!)  Here are some of your current habits and likes:

*You are still a morning girl!  We get you up for the day between 6-6:20a.m. on school days, but by 7:40 you're ready for a power nap.
*Bath time is a favorite of yours.  When you're fussy and we can't figure out what's going on, we plop you in the tub (well, not "plop" exactly!) and it seems to do the trick.
*You have begun to giggle every now and again.  This morning we were driving around town and I was sitting in the back saying "Boo!" and you seemed to think that was pretty great :)
*You have slept though the night, aka 10-6 a handful of times now, but I think we are just finishing up the 4 month sleep regression, so it's been a while since you've done that!
*We just got you a Bumbo seat, and you really seem to like it when you're in the mood to sit up.
*You're still eating about 3-3.5 oz per bottle.
*Emma is still your favorite :)

Quite a bit has changed in such a short time, but then again, not so much!  We are so blessed to have you!

Love always and forever,

Mommy

Love

I haven't done my blogging letter challenge for a few months (courtesy of Olivia's arrival!), but thought I would start back up tonight, although I must admit that I am skipping "k!"

Love:
I was thinking tonight about what has made me the person I am today, and most of it has sprung from the things I love in life.  Some of my current, and eternal loves are:
*Pizza....no cheese, just the saucy crust, and the hamburger if it's a beef pizza!
*Books...reading them, trying to write them, their smell, the way the feel in my hands....everything.
*Green...it's the color of life, vibrancy, and everything outdoors!
*Nick...he makes me smile, laugh, mad, and tons of other things, which means it must be L.O.V.E.
*Emma...her smile, her beautiful baby blues, the way she clings to me when she get scared of a bug, how she tells me she loves me, the sound of her little voice singing "Happy Birthday" when she's supposed to be going to sleep....and on and on.
*Olivia...the way she smiles and coos first thing in the morning, how she settles down from crying when I pick her up and start talking, the way she smiles when she's falling to sleep, how she loves to watch Emma dance and play....and on and on.
*The Lord our God...without whom, none of this would be possible.

I could go on and on, but I'm pretty sure I would lose my readers, maybe exempting Ethan, when I start talking about my love of the Harry Potter novels :) 

Belated Birthday Wishes to My Firstborn

Emma Rae,

How is it, my love, that already three years have gone by since God sent you to us?!  It has been three of the fastest, yet sometimes the slowest, years of my life.  You are sure a ham, and a ball of fire!!!  (I think you get that from your Dad ;) )  Some fun facts about you:

*You are starting to get the hang of this potty training business!  Yesterday you didn’t have any accidents at school, and went in the potty four or five times!  Definitely a record for you!!!!

*Recently you’ve learned to do summersaults, and love to practice your new skill……sometimes a little too close to your sister!

*I think you know how to run my iPad better than I do sometimes!

*We are looking for a toddler bed for your room.  You like sleeping in the ones at Gma and Papa’s houses, and we think you may be getting close to being ready here.

Things haven’t always gone smoothly, or as planned, but we wouldn’t have it any other way!  I love you more and more every day and can’t wait to celebrate many many, many more birthdays with you!!!

Love Now and Forever,

Mommy

 

Two Months!

Dearest Miss Olivia,

Where oh where have the past 2 months gone!  Already it is August, and already you are turning 2 months old.  It truly is hard for me to remember what is was like before you came, but all I know now is that life feels complete with you here.  We are still working to figure each other out, but I'm confident that we'll get there :)  These first two months have been terribly eventful, what with two hospital stays, one being for a whole week.  Let's just not make this a habit, alright, little lady?

Bath time is now one of your favorite times of day, and you are so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed during it!  Naps, on the other hand......well, let's just say that you're not a big fan because there's too much to see and do.  Plus, I'm still trying to figure out how long to let you stay up before putting you to sleep, so maybe you're a bit overtired???  You are still a sucky eater (no pun intended :) )  and some days you want to eat every 1.5-2 hours, but only about .5-1.5 ounces at a time, which equals one LOOOOOONNNNNGGGG day for both of us.  You had been napping between 45 minutes to 3 hours, but yesterday I don't think you napped more than 1.5 hours for the entire day, which led to a major meltdown that evening, followed by a 6:15 p.m. bedtime (and a tumultuous night.)  I am working on getting you to nap in your crib and not the swing or vibrating chair.  Yesterday you slept in it for 45 minutes, then woke yourself up crying.  So, right now you are passed out in the swing, and I'm planning on giving you your afternoon nap in the crib.

I am trying to prepare to start back to work on August 12th, which will be your first day at daycare also.  I have to be honest, I am looking forward to going back and getting into my old routine.  Not that I haven't appreciated and loved my special time with you, but I know that I will appreciate that time and those smiles even more when I start working.  Alright, so now some fun facts:

*You are DEFINITELY a morning girl, like your sister and your Papas.
*You have started "talking" to us, and love to be cooed back to, usually resulting in a sweet little smile :)
*Some cradle cap has begun to develop, but I'm trying to nip it in the bud with special cradle cap wash and using conditioner too.  It is a common misconception that this is caused by a lack of hygiene, however, it is due to a lack of normal scalp oils to keep the scalp hydrated, so DON'T JUDGE when you see a baby with it.
*Sometimes you wolf down your bottles, and other times I have to practically take your clothes off to keep you awake enough to eat even half.
*You are so very loved by everyone, and we wouldn't trade you for the world!

All my love,
Mama

Bittersweet

There is a saying that goes something like "If I knew the last time I hugged you, would be the last time I hugged you, then I would have held on a little longer."  Well, the version playing in my head goes something like "If I knew the last time I was pregnant, would be my last time being pregnant, I would have savored those 9 months a little more."  To clarify where I'm going with all of this, I made an appointment to have a tubal ligation done on September 17th.  This decision was a much more emotional one than I would have ever though possible, for several different reasons.

First off, it seems to close a chapter of my life.....like a part of me is dying.  I know that's kind of a grim way of looking at it, but that's how I feel.  It's not that I feel like less of a woman, but that a big reason for my existence will be gone.  However, I think the biggest reason it was such an emotional struggle to make this decision was because I know that it means I will never again hold a babe of my own in my arms (after Olivia grows a bit.)  Olivia is such a good, pleasant baby, and I have really come to love this baby phase.....the same, however, could not be said for when Emma was a baby, due to digestive issues and colic.  It means that once these precious first months of Olivia's are gone, that I won't have this opportunity to experience them again.  I know that it sounds terribly selfish when I put it that way, and that by choosing to have the surgery done I am doing something responsible for our family (albeit not in the eyes of my fellow Catholics and the Church), but it doesn't make it any easier knowing that all of these little firsts of Olivia's, are some of the lasts for me.

However, I will be 28 this year, and had already decided that I didn't want to give birth after the age of 30 due to the increased risk to the baby, which would mean that I would have to be getting pregnant within the next year or year and a half to keep under that age.  This would put the two youngest closer together than I want, and I fear, more stress than we could handle.  Therefore, I make this decision in confidence that what I am doing is the right thing for us.  I will just remember to savor all of these little moments of Olivia's and Emma's and be eternally grateful for the amazing family God has provided me with.

Settling BACK In

These past 7 weeks since Olivia has been with us has been more excitement than anyone needs in such a short amount of time.  She has been hospitalized not one, but TWO times.  The first was due to a fever caused by enterovirus, and warranted a 2 night stay, a spinal tap, blood workup, IV antibiotics, and lots and lots of nighttime interruptions from nurses.  The second was due to an infection in the blood due to an unknown bacteria, and warranted a 7 night stay, spinal tap, blood workup, 3 IV (it started leaking twice and had to be replaced both times), 14 rounds of Rocephin (a very very strong antibiotic), and many more nighttime interruptions. 

I have tried to assure her that she doesn't need to give us this "excitement" every three weeks, and that we would really like to be able to settle into a good pattern for a long period of time.  Hopefully she understood what I was saying ;)

One Month

My Baby Girl Olivia,

I can't believe that you have already been with us for a month!!!  I must admit, before you were born I wondered how my heart would be able to love another little girl as much as I loved your big sister, but rest assured that the moment you were born and I laid eyes on you that my feelings for you were instantaneous.  You have grown so much (well, at least I think you have!) in the past month, so here are some fun facts about you:

*You weight 7 pounds and 9 ounces.....up from 6lb 3oz at birth.
*You are (usually) an awesome snuggler!!!
*Eating can be a very slow process for you, and lately you've been wanting to eat ALL.THE.TIME
*You haven't been napping very well lately, but sleep pretty good at night
*The Halo Swaddle Sack is our best friend at night and when you're fussy
*You like to lay on our legs and look around
*Bathtime is getting better each time
*You are pretty easy going when it comes to Emma liking to poke your eyes, stick her fingers in your mouth, and "petting" your head :)

We are really enjoying getting to know you and seeing you change before our very eyes!  Just, please, don't grow up too fast!!!!

Love,
Mom

4 Years

Nick,

Where have these last four years gone?!  I can still remember what we were doing this night four years ago: polka-ing around the dance floor at our wedding!!!  That was one of the most amazing and memorable nights of my life, and who knew that it would lead to two beautiful daughters and a very busy life!!!  Tonight we celebrated this milestone with dinner at TGIFridays and then a stop at Barnes and Noble on the way home :) 

We now are a family of four, which keeps us so incredibly busy, but is so rewarding at the same time.  I am thankful that God brought us together, as I wouldn't want to "do" this thing called life with anyone else!  I love you and look forward to all of the years to come!

XOXO
Nikki

Letters to My Children

So, I have decided to intermittently depart from the A-Z blogging challenge that I was embarking on to write "letters" to my daughters, the main purpose being to help me remember what they were doing when :)

Dear Emma and Olivia,

It's me, Mom.  This is my first letter to you in what I hope to be a series of letters.  Just a mere 12 days ago we went from being a family of 3 to a family of 4 with the addition of Olivia Dawn on June 1, 2013.  You decided that 1:35 a.m. was as good a time as any to let me know that you were on your way!  My labor and delivery was so quick:  only about 5.5 hours from the start of any contractions until you were here with us!  Your Dad almost missed you making your appearance as he was taking Emma down to be with Papa and Nenner Osborn! 

And Emma, you were such a trooper, being woken up at 2:00 a.m., rushed to the car and wisked away to a strange place with lots of stuff going on (the hospital.)  As the nurses were putting my IV in, you were asking "What you doing?" and having a hard time sitting still!  Daddy even had to take you to play with some toy trains down the hall, and let you run around to get some energy out! 

I have really enjoyed getting to know you, Olivia, and getting to watch you, Emma, become a wonderful big sister!  Emma, you are such a big helper for me and help to change Olivia's "little poopy diapers!"  You love to hug and kiss Olivia, and unceremoniously shove the pacifier back into her mouth, even when she's not crying for it!!!  You don't like it when Olivia cries, and the other day on the way home from daycare you were getting all teary-eyed when Olivia was crying and you didn't know what to do to help :)  And Olivia, you are such an easy-going little girl and don't mind your big sister poking your face or rubbing your head just a little roughly!  You are a good sleeper, and can be a pokey eater, but we don't mind because it gives us more opportunities for snuggling!  You like to sleep on Daddy's chest or in the crook of his shoulder, and you also love being swaddled at night.  You enjoy looking around when you're awake, and the three of us love to lay down on the floor with you! 

Your Daddy and I are so blessed to call you our children and we love you both more than anything!

Love,

Mommy

Introducing Olivia Dawn Spotanski!!!!

Miss Olivia Spotanski is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!  At 7:00 a.m. on June 1st she made her speedy entry into the world!  I have decided to break up my post tonight into 2 parts: the birth story and the pictures!!!

Here She Comes:
Just a heads up: some slightly graphic details follow, but I wanted to record everything here as I remember it for the future!

1:35 a.m.  Woke for the first of what are usually four nightly bathroom visits.  Barely had I made it to the toilet when I noticed a slight gush of fluid that didn't feel like I had used the bathroom yet to cause.  A moment later I realized that I had gotten my wish of my labor kicking off with my water breaking, as it did with Emma!  When my water began to leak with Emma, I never noticed contractions until they put me on Pitocin at the hospital to make them stronger and more regularly spaced; therefore, when it broke this go around, I planned on going back to bed for a few hours to get a little more rest before going to the hospital.

I made my way back to bed, careful not to wake Nick, and laid there for about 30 minutes, too anxious to fall back asleep.  Thus, I headed back to the bathroom to gather up our last minute items, when more fluid began to literally run down my legs.  It wasn't but a few minutes later that the contractions kicked in, and I knew that waiting until 6 or 7 to head to the hospital just wasn't going to be an option. 
"Nick, I think we need to head to the hospital," the phrase awkening a groggy husband at 2:15 a.m.  He jerked awake and after "really?" and "you think it's time?" he sprang from bed and kicked it into high gear helping to gather up the stuff we had deemed as "last minute."  We loaded the van and Nick brought a confused Emma down and buckled her and her blankie into her carseat.  When told that we were going to get her baby sister, she really got excited!

The drive to the hospital this time was pretty similar to last time: Nick speeding a bit and needing to be reminded of where to go and to stop at stop signs :)  By the time we arrived at the hospital at 2:30 a.m. the contractions were 2-4 minutes apart, and some of them were pretty intense.  We were admitted to our Labor and Delivery room, and when the nurse did a cervical check I was already between a 3 and 4, and was eligible immediately for my epidural (Thank God!!!!)  However, that didn't happen until about 4:00-4:30 as the nurse had a hell of a time getting my I.V. in a vein (it took 4 tries), and I honestly think that that part was more painful that much of my labor!  Once I finally received my epidural it took but a matter of minutes until it began to kick in, and within 10 minutes I wasn't feeling anything anymore and my legs were feeling like lead! 

Around 6:15 a.m. the nurse checked me again and I was dilated fully and Olivia's head was "right there."  By this time, Mom and Dad were about 30 minutes away and we didn't know if they were going to make it before my doctor arrived to deliver the baby!  Dr. Hoffman made it to the hospital around 6:45 a.m., just after Nick ran downstairs with Emma so that she could be with Papa and Nenner while we finished our business upstairs!  With each contraction I could feel Olivia moving closer and closer to the "exit", and the doctor didn't know if Nick would make it back in time or if she would just come out without any pushing!  Thankfully Nick made it back upstairs around 6:58 a.m. and a contraction began shortly after.  About a minute later Olivia's head was out (and she was already crying!) and at 7:00 a.m. she officially joined the world!!!!  Stats: 6lb 3oz and 19.5 inches long.  This labor was about 5 hours long, which seemed crazy fast to me!

Miss Olivia is such a pleasant little gal.  She isn't a big eater, but isn't fussy either.  She only cries when I am changing her diaper, when she wants swaddled, or when she has a gas bubble.  Her hair is dark as dark can be (and kind of wild, to boot!), she has darker skin (but some of it we think is foreshadowing some jaundice), and squeaks like a little mouse when upset!!!  Emma is soooo in love with "her baby" and wants to help in any way possible!  I love seeing her love on Olivia, and can't wait to see how she interacts with her at home :)  So thankful for my two beautiful girls and amazing husband! 

And now for the good part........PICTURES!!!!!

June 14th

June 14th:
I can't believe that our tentative big date is less than a month away now!  I am 36 weeks today, and started our weekly appointments this past Wednesday.  Dr did a cervical check and I am 2 cm dilated, 75% effaced, and the dr said the baby's head was very low!  Things are progressing and the doctor was asking if I went full term with Emma (which I did....she was only a week early.)  I have a feeling that this baby will come around the due date, but I guess we'll see!  We go back this coming Wednesday to see how she's growing, so I will update soon :)

Is It True???

Could it be true!?  After 4 days of a fever, could it have actually broken this afternoon!?  Don't want to get ahead of myself, but I guess we'll see in the morning!  It would just be great because then we could still see family in Missouri!  Fingers crossed :)

Hospital and Hiccups

Hospital:
Over the past few weeks we have gotten our fill of Boys Town Hospital.  Last weekend we took Emma to get checked for a UTI (negative), and then we had to take her for a high fever just yesterday, and their verdict was a virus, probably a stomach virus with the stomach pain and vomiting.  Needless to say, Emma isn't feeling terribly loving towards the doctor's office right now!  It seems like before she got tubes in her ears, everything eventually lead to an ear infection, but that's not the case now, and for that I'm grateful.  However, it just is aggrivating when you spend your time and money and they say that there isn't anything they can do for her and just to keep her hydrated and giving her medicine to control the fever.  It almost makes me wonder why I took her in the first place if I knew in the back of my mind what they were going to say.  (I do know why I took her.....but still it's aggrivating!) 

The lastest incident started up yesterday morning with a fever of 102.2, which continued to rise throughout the day, and wasn't being helped by medicine.  When it reached 105 after her nap, we decided enough messing around, and took her to the Urgent Care at the hospital.  They did a strep test (negative), and then gave us the schpiel of it being a stomach virus, and blah blah blah.  Now, mind you, the nurse was very thorough and checked for meningitis, appendicitus, etc....but still.....a virus...something that can't be treated and has to run it's course?!  Again!  I hate that diagnosis.  So anyways, after waking up with a very high fever in the night, we decided to keep her home today.  She woke up with a fever in the morning of 103.5, and it continued to creep up until she could have her next dose of medicine.  Then this afternoon after waking up from her nap (burning hot, I might add), she proceeds to throw up in bed :(  Thus she got her second bath of the day, this one, not nearly as loved as the first!  So now, we will be together at home again tomorrow, and as much as I hate missing work and miss my other babies there, I know that the only way she's going to get better is if she's in her own home and is able to rest as much as she needs.

Hiccups:
I remember when I was pregnant with Emma, she seemed to have the hiccups every evening, for multiple times!  Up until the past two weeks this go-around, I hadn't noticed our soon-to-be newest addition having them.  Then a few nights ago, I could feel the tell-tale little "bump-bump-bump" of them.....and in fact, I think she has them right now!  Only 6 more weeks until my/her due date!  Yikes!!!!  I suddenly feel the pressing urge to shave my legs ;)

Getting Excited!!!

Getting Excited:
We are but 2 months, or so, away from meeting our newest little baby girl!!!!!  It's hard to believe that this time 3 years ago, we were just a few months out from meeting Emma Rae!  She was such a hard baby, in part because she had milk and soy allergies and we struggled to find the right formula, but is the most wonderful little thing in the whole world!  I know, I know.....every mom says that their baby is the greatest, but unless Emma's your child, then I would have to agree to disagree :)  She has really become an independent (i.e. strong willed) little lady at times, but it's just helping me grow in my patience, which is exactly what I need with baby # 2 on the way! 

We now have the new baby's crib set up in our room, and are in the process of rearranging a little so that we can get the glider chair in there as well for those late-night, and middle-of-the-night feedings.  So, every time we go upstairs Emma likes to look in our bedroom at the baby's bed and talk all about it!  My mom laid her in it the last time they were down, and Emma took up the whole travel crib!  Hard to believe that she was a mere 6 pounds when she was born, and now she's around 26 pounds!  I am growing more and more excited about this pregnancy, not only to meet the new baby, but because of how excited Emma gets when she sees babies and talks about ours.  Just hard to wrap my head around the idea that, even though Emma will always be my baby girl, she'll no longer be my littlest girl!  Bittersweet....

Fe

Fe=Iron:
A few weeks ago when I went for my 28 week appointment, they did a glucose tolerance test, as well as checking my hemoglobin levels.  I was thankful to lean that I passed the glucose tolerance test (unlike when I was pregnant with Emma), however, my hemoglobin levels were at an 8 (12 being normal), which is considered very anemic.  Therefore, the doctor put me on Iron pills 2X/day to try and bring my levels up, and this Thursday, we will see if I've made any progress. 

I remember being anemic when I was younger and they never made me take iron pills for it, but I guess it's different when you're pregnant since you need the extra blood for the baby.  I have been researching to see what may be done if my levels haven't come up, and am not sure if they would give me a shot, a blood transfusion (very doubtful....thankfully!), or have me just continue the pills.  I do think that my low levels can be blamed (in part) for my exhaustion every night.  It seems like 3 or 4 nights out of the week I fall asleep on the couch before 10 p.m., and the other 3 or 4 I'm fighting to stay awake until 10:30 so that Nick doesn't feel like I don't want to spend any time with him!  With any luck, maybe I will be feeling better soon!  Guess we'll see in a few days :)

Exhale

Exhale:
Not much of a post tonight, just a reminder to myself to take a big breath (and remember to exhale) when my hormones threaten to take over and send me into a bad mood.  They haven't been so bad this pregnancy, but I'm finding that things get to me more and more easily lately, and it's easy to get worked up over nothing.  Remember............just breathe!!!

Diapers.........Grrrrrr

Diapers:
Oh how I am so ready to be done with these expensive things!  Emma is just over 2 1/2 and we haven't had any break throughs in potty training.  She sits on the potty every 2 hours at daycare, and we sit her on it about every 1 1/2 hours in the evening at home, but still nothing.  She has gone a few times, but that was a few months ago, and since then, nothing :(  She will sit on the toilet and sings songs with me (to keep her mind from telling her to jump off) and all sorts of other stuff, but she won't "go."  If she jumps down, I will put her back on and try another song as long as she's not getting upset, just to give it some more time, but we don't seem to be making any headway. 

I know a lot of people would say "My child was potty trained by the age of 2", and "Why don't you just take away pull-ups and go straight to underwear?"  but the fact is, my child is NOT potty trained yet, although she does like to sit on the toilet.  Also, with us both working full-time, just taking away pull-ups cold turkey doesn't seem to be the answer because it would be a lot of extra hassle and work for her daycare providers who already have 12 other kids in the room who they're trying to help along on this same road.  Now if I stayed at home with Emma, I would be more than happy to go that route, but seeing as I don't, I'm at a loss at what to do/try.  It's like she clinches up when she sits on the toilet ("shy kidneys", as I like to call it) and is afraid to let it happen.  I let her come into the bathroom with me every time she wants, and she's my little cheerleader, so I know that she associates using the potty as a good thing, but I just can't get it to happen.

So, I guess the point of this whole post is a cry for HELP!!!!!  I know that they say everyone learns at their own pace, but I really think she's ready, and just have no clue as to how to help it along.  Thanks in advance!

Crappy Cramps

Cramps/Spasms:
Oh baby, has this baby been taking a toll on my back!  If I remember right, when I was pregnant with Emma I had hardly any back pain until the very end.  However, this one is starting early, as in, about the moment we found out we were expecting :P  In the past few weeks I changed rooms at work from the younger infant room (6 weeks-7 months) to the older infant room (8 months-1 year), and it has really helped my back pain tremendously!  Even though the babies are heavier, they are more mobile, i.e. don't need to be carried everywhere.  Lately, though, I have noticed some strange muscle spasms in my lower back when I over-do it.  They make my back really weak and make it hard for me to stand.  All I can say after a day like today is "Thank goodness for Tylenol!!!"

Big Day and Bronchitis

Big Day:
Emma's big day went pretty well yesterday!  We arrived at the hospital around 9:00 a.m., were admitted to a private room, and after giving her a "downer" medicine at 10, they took her back for surgery around 10:40.  At 11:10 the ENT came in to inform us that the surgery was complete and a success!!!  She'd had some gunky fluid in her ears, and so she's now on Ciprodex eardrops, which she's totally NOT thrilled about, but it's necessary. 

When they brought her back into her room a while later, she was sitting up on the bed, but was very emotional for quite a while (probably the anesthetic wearing off), so some serious cuddling was in order for Mommy, Daddy, and Gma Nenner!  Around 1:20 we were finally cleared for release, and were able to get Emma some much needed grub and come home to chow down!  And let me tell you, this girl at like a grown man (for her, that is!)  She scarfed down fries, a grilled cheese sandwich, half of a corndog, cheese, and some popcorn chicken....a HUGE meal for her! 

She had kind of a hard time settling in last night for bed, and started waking up frequently from 10 p.m.-11:30 p.m., but after switching some blankets around she seemed to finally give in, and slep until 7:15 this morning, which is good for her.  She's been acting normal today, although her stuffy nose is making her a little harder to understand, but I'm sure it'll clear up soon enough!

Bronchitis:
This year Nick and I have had a rough time trying to get rid of illnesses, and I think that we are starting to battle another round of bronchitis here in our house :(  He's not the kind to go to the doctor, so I hope it's just a passing cold, or else he could end up my third baby for a while ;)  (Just joking!)  Just a reminder to keep bundled up, take your vitamins and vitamin C, and get your rest!

A Challenge to Myself.....Blogging Style!

As I have mentioned recently, I feel as if my recent posts have lacked direction, so I'm taking a page out of a fellow bloggers book and am going to do an A-Z challenge.  Meaning.....the post I write will be focused around a topic of the letter of the day.  So for instance, today being the first day, is the letter A.

Adenoidectomy:
A week from today my sweet baby girl is going to have her adenoids removed and tubes put in her ears.  Ever since she was a little over a year old she's had almost constant trouble with ear infections every winter.  Every time she gets sick and gets a fever, it inevitably ends up in an ear infection, and it's gotten to the point where most medicines aren't completely getting rid of it.  She recently had an allergic reaction to augmentin with itching and hives and the whole nine yards, so that rules out a lot of medicines.  It just makes sense to have this done, especially since I had tubes put in when I was little and evidently it did wonders for my ears, so I'm praying for the same outcome for Emma!

We won't know until the night before what time her surgery will be, but we do know that it will be a 15 minute procedure, and we will be reunited with her an hour afterwards when the anesthetic begins to wear off.  I'm just glad that it's a pretty low-risk procedure and am hoping her recovery goes smoothly.  We did get a piece of good news last night, which came in the form of Mom asking if we would mind having her for company next week!  It will be great getting to spend some extra time with her, and I'm sure Emma will love having her around to cuddle with :) 

Reflection on Faith

A while back I asked for future blog post ideas, and got the wonderful suggestion to expound on how my life and faith has changed since completing RCIA last Easter and becomming a member of the Catholic Church.  If you'll remember, I wrote a post detailing my journey of coming home to the Catholic church here, but haven't talked much about my life since then. 

The long and short of it is, that I have begun to keep up more on the happenings of the world and how everything affects me and my freedom of religion, i.e. the mandate wanting to require ALL institutions to provide birth control, even if it goes against a core belief of your organization/religion.  It is really troublesome to me how the government is trying to force it's way into my religious life and beliefs, especially now, knowing how birth control actually functions to prevent pregnancy.  I have also stopped listening to popular radio and now listen to KLove or Sprit Catholic Radio.  The messages on those two stations are much better and profound, rather than the garbage that passes on the other stations.

When attending Mass, I find myself becoming more and more involved in it, and taking away more than ever from church.  Yes, it is hard to fully focus some days, especially with a 2 1/2 year old, but on those days I have to remind myself that I'm still taking more away with only 30% of my attention focused what's being said, than I would be if I weren't there at all.  We have begun to teach Emma her prayers, which she really likes, and at church when they get to a point where we say "Amen", Emma will usually shout it!  I haven't become as active in the church as I know I should be, and there is no good reason for it, no matter the excuses I make to myself, but I do feel like I am growing in other areas, and so God will let me know when it's time to plunge into new waters. 

Finally, I believe that having gone through the RCIA process at the same time as my brother, that we have grown closer than ever.  When we go somewhere together it's not uncommon for us to pray a rosary and just have a theological conversation, which is wonderful because he's the only other Catholic in my family, besides Nick.  Let me tell you, he is one of the most ambitious go-getters I know!  Along with being in Pharmacy School, working, studying, and spending time with family, he's also a very active member in church and with his campus Focus group, and even leads a Catholic bible study class with non-Catholics making up the majority of the group!  The Lord is working strong through him, and I can not be more proud to call him my brother! 

When I sat down to write this tonight, I thought "This will be a short post", just because I wasn't conscious of how things have changed in so many different areas in the past year.  However, reflecting on it really helped me to realize that I have made strides in the right direction, and am going to really try with all my might to keep doing the same, for my sake and for the sake of my family.

Lacking Inspiration

Sometimes when I read other's blogs, I feel like mine is lacking in post direction.  I have noticed that I tend to just give an update to what is going on in our lives, which, honestly, isn't much :P  So, if you have any questions or any ideas that you think would make a good post, please don't hesitate to leave me a comment here or on Facebook!  I will do my best to step up my game a bit :)

It's A............Girl!!!!!

Guess the cat's out of the bag now!  Yup it's official...Emma's going to have a little sister!!!!  Nick had been saying "girl" for quite a while and I was saying "boy" just for the sake of argument, but had a feeling that it was a girl!  This pregnancy really hasn't been much different from when I was carrying Emma, but that's not a good indicator for most people as to the gender of the baby :P 

We went to the doctor this past Friday for our 20 week (yes, we are halfway there already!) ultrasound.  Hard to believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone, but I have to remember that I have a toddler that's been helping to speed it along :)  The ultrasound technician went through the paces looking at the heart, stomach, spine, umbilical cord (with a cool thing that let us see the bloodflow through the cord!), and multiple sweet little body parts :)  Then the moment of truth came to see what "it" actually was, and the little lady had her legs clamped together so tightly that it took 15 minutes and me switching positions a few times to get a peek!

Needless to say, we are thrilled that God is blessing us with another beautiful little girl.  I know it sounds cliche, but we really didn't care what "it" was, just as long as all of the important things looked right :)  However, Nick is convinced that someday he needs a boy dog to even out the numbers in the family!!!  Here are a few of our ultrasound photos of the little Miss!  It's nearly impossible to get a good photo of them, but I'm sure you can make out the images :)

                                          Her Legs

                                          Girl Parts!!!

                                          Look at that profile :)

                                          Love of our lives # 2!

Baby # 2 Update

My last post was about a hiatus from the blogging world, and unfortunately, I haven't made good on my promise to blog more frequently!  I am now 19 weeks along in this pregnancy, and can hardly believe that we are nearly halfway there this go around!  This coming Friday we go to the dr to have our 20 week ultrasound done and, hopefully, find out if Emma will have a little brother or little sister :)  My morning sickness finally subsided a few weeks ago, and so far I have gained about 4.5-5 pounds, which I think was pretty much where I was with Emma.  It's hard to say if I'm truly showing or not because I have some "leftovers" from baby # 1, but can tell that my clothes aren't as comfy as they used to be!!

We are still thinking about names, and have decided not to tell anyone what we have settled on until the little peanut arrives.  I think it is a common trend nowadays to take this route, especially when people are looking everywhere for baby name ideas.  All I can say is that we want something that goes well with "Emma" and "Spotanski", so are leaning towards more classical names :)  I have a feeling that this week is going to drag by, and Friday just can't come fast enough!!!