Hiatus

It has been a while since I've been on, and there's not really a good excuse as to why!  The pregnancy is going good (I think) minus the still-daily morning sickness.  We were supposed to go for our 11/12 week appointment this past Wednesday, but the dr was running behind and so we had to reschedule.  Now both Nick and I are sick with a cold or something of the like :(  I stayed home today because I have been coughing and hurting, and it was a good thing I did because the coughing made my morning sickness worse and I ended up throwing up :(   Anyhow, hopefully we all get over this crap soon because in two weeks we have Christmas with the Spotanski's coming up, and then the next week is Christmas at my house!!!  Better get cracking on Christmas shopping :)

Big News In the Making......

I have wanted to write this post for the past few weeks, but dared not until a few important people had been told in person!  So, the big news?  In June 2013 we will no longer be a family of 3, but rather a family of 4!!!  Yup you read it right….I am expecting J  Nick and I went to the OB/GYN on Thursday the 25^th to confirm what 6 or 7 pregnancy tests told us, and low and behold, there on the ultrasound screen was this little pumpkin with a heart just fluttering away!!!  It’s hard to believe that things happened so fast for us a second time, but I think it was God’s way of telling us that our thoughts are right in line with His J

        Our official due date is June 12, 2013, but Emma was a few weeks early, so we’ll see how it goes this time!  I guess my main concern, as I’m sure it is for many second-time parents, is about how to make Emma know she’s still the center of our world, along with this other new little person.  I’m trying not to dwell on it too much because I know that it will just happen, and the more we include her, the better!  I found this cute survey online to help document how things change weekly with the pregnancy, and thought it would be something fun to do and to look back on!

 

How far along? 7 weeks 1 day

Total weight gain/loss:  None

Sleep:  Good

Best moment this week: Getting to see the little pumpkin via ultrasound

Movement: None

Symptoms: Up at night to go to the bathroom, and lots during the day already :P

Food cravings: Nothing in particular.

Food aversions: None yet

Gender: Unknown

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out?: Way in

What I miss: Nothing yet!

What I am looking forward to: Our next dr appt on November 28th

 

Busy Busy Busy

Well, the past few weeks have pretty busy in the Spotanski household!  Three weekends ago Mom and Dad came back for a visit to celebrate Dad's birthday a little late.  We were planning on spending the day at the zoo, but changed our mind and ended up going to the Amazing Pizza Machine, where we all pigged out, played games, and watched Emma ride rides :)  Then Saturday night we watched Jeff Dunham:  Controlled Chaos, which was great!

The weekend of Labor Day we went back to visit everyone in Grand Island and go to the State Fair!  It was a BLAST!!!  I never remember having gone to a state fair, and so this was a new thing for both Emma and myself :)  She had her first pony ride, which she wasn't to fond of at first, but once it started moving (and with some encouragement from Daddy!) she really go into it!  After the pony ride, we explored a petting zoo where some camels, goats, kangaroos, etc followed us around trying to get the food in our little cup!  We also took in a Sea Lion show while we were there and got kissed by Ariel, their star Sea Lion :) 

Then this weekend I had to go for an inservice class for work, which got me the last four hours I needed for the year.  Nick and Emma got to spend some quality time together while I was gone, and they ended up going to the park and playing together.  Last night when the Husker game started, the three of us went to Schramm State Park's archery range to practice shooting our bows so that we are ready for opening day for bow season this coming Saturday!  Emma had a blast carrying around an arrow of mine (no point attached, of course!), running to the target with us to pull our our arrows, and pretending to stick her's in! 

She is at such a fun age right now, and I am absolutely loving it!  She can be strong willed and a handful sometimes, but I wouldn't change it for the world!  It's hard to believe how much things can change in such a short amount of time!  In the past three years I have gotten married, gotten pregnant, had a beautiful baby girl, struggled through some of the toughest months of motherhood, and have watched a fussy baby become an endearing and amazing child, and watched a man become a husband become an amazing father!  Boy, God sure has blessed me, and I can only pray that we continue to earn his blessings!

New Family Member!

About two weeks ago we added a new member to our family.  He is a 1 year old Bengal Tabby cat mix :)  For a while we had been thinking about getting a pet, but haven't had the best luck with pets, as we had to get rid of our last dog, and Nick had one before we met that he had to get rid of.  Therefore, he was apprehensive to really consider it again, and I was too, a little.  We looked into getting a Boston Terrier because his brother has one that he likes, but decided that a dog would just be too high maintenance for this point in our lives.  So, we began to toss around the idea of a cat.  My folks had some kittens we thought were cute, and Emma really seemed taken with them. 

And so about two weeks ago after looking online, we found ourselves in our local Petsmart store looking at the cats that the Nebraska Humane Society had there.  We immediately fell in love with Bandit (whose name has since been changed to Jax), and when Emma proceeded to hug him and pick him up around the neck and he didn't react at all, we knew he was the one for us :)  Besides aquiring a neat and spunky pet, I really like the idea that we could have potentially saved his life!  Cats reproduce so quickly and there are so many strays needing good homes, plus, most people seem to want kittens, so that they get to raise them, and so the cats from 1 year on up don't have as good a chance at a second chance. 

So we are now the proud owners of a neutered, declawed, spotted/striped cat who likes to run around like a nut case and snuggle when he finally wears himself out.  Oh did I mention that Emma currently scares the Hell out of him!?  ;)

A Letter to My Daughter

Dear Emma,

I can't believe that you have been in our lives for two whole years now!!!  It's hard to remember what life was like without you, and I don't want to try :)  This past Monday we celebrated your 2nd birthday as a family.  Both sets of grandparents and your Godfather Ryan and his family were all able to come over to our house last Saturday for your Dora birthday party, and it was wonderful!  I especially got a kick out of you getting so excited to open your presents!  You would barely tear the paper off of one and you were running to grab another :)  I think it's just part of your destructive nature!

The past two years have been filled with highs and lows, but the ups sure outweight the downs.  I'm sorry that I don't always know what you want, but believe me sweetie, I'm trying my hardest!  I think I would give an arm and leg to be able to read your mind sometimes.  You have really begun to grow into a sweet little lady, and I'm so lucky that God chose me to be your Mom!  I love getting to see you grow and learn everyday, and think it's the best feeling ever when you plant a big slobbery kiss right on my lips!  Thank you for making me a mommy, and for teaching me patience, self-sacrifice, and the ability to love more than I ever thought possible!  I love you my little sweetie-pie, and look forward to a lifetime of slobbery kisses from you!

Love always,
Mimi

Employed!!!

As you may have gathered from the title, I was offered and accepted a position with Small Miracle Preschool and Child Care!!!  I start tomorrow at 8:30 a.m. and will be starting out in the infant room :)  The director said she's unsure if she'll keep me there or move me to the 2-3 aged room, but I'm just glad to be getting to work there!  Also, even better is the fact that Emma will be able to come with me, and for cheaper than what we would've been paying elsewhere!!!  She will start will me on her birthday, so I think that's pretty great :)  I am just so thankful that God opened this door for me, and hope I won't let him down!

Update to Interview

Well, my interview that I was hoping would go well did go well :)  They had me fill out a background check form, and then when I finished that, had me fill out new hire paperwork, i.e. I-9, W-4 etc.  Therefore, I think, pending my background check comes out fine (which I know it will), that I will be employed!  I really hope this is what God's plan is for me, and just feel really good about it!  I should know in the next 2 days, and will update again when I hear anything back!

Interviews

I am typing this just 10 minutes before I must leave for an interview at a childcare center here in Omaha!  I have yet to receive a job offer, which is kind of discouraging, but I am praying that this interview at the daycare works out!  If not, I also have a interview at Oriental Trading for their seasonal customer service agent job that I had last year, and that would probably be a pretty sure bet.  However, if offered a job at the daycare for a certain amout, then I would jump on it! 

I know that God has a plan for my life and have to trust in where he guides me!  Will post an update on the job situation later!  Sending prayers up to Heaven!!!

Musings on June

I can't believe that June is about to come to an end!  This past Friday we got back from our vacation with my folks in South Dakota, and boy was it great to get out of Omaha for a week!  We did everything from visiting the Badlands, the Black Hills, Flintstone Park, Custer State Park, riding the 1880 Train, horseback riding, visiting Mt. Rushmore, and many many more things!  Emma was such a trooper!  The first day we drove halfway to Hill City, which happened to be Mitchell, and we visited the Corn Palace, swam, and just relaxed.  She did pretty good on the drive, considering how long we had to be in the car and how boring riding can get, no matter how many Elmo dvd's and toys you bring!  On the drive home last Friday, we drove the full 8.5 hours and she did A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.  I was so proud of her!

Then this week it has been a matter of getting back into the groove here at home and getting all of the vacation crap put away :)  Yesterday I had a phone interview for a temporary position that sounded good, and then today I got called for an interview on this coming Tuesday for another position that sounds like it could be a good one.  We are keeping our fingers crossed that something works out.  We're not needing the money, but if I do get a job, then all of that money would be going towards our mortgage so that we can lower it and have a better chance of selling it before we have to retire ;)  Anyhow, I know God will lead me down the path that he has planned for us, so I have no worries! 

Now, here's just a taste of what our vacation was like :)  Enjoy!

Thoughts on Life

A blog I aboslutely love to read is by a woman I went to high school with.  She recently (okay, 2 months ago) gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Blythe.  One of the reasons I love her blog is because she writes so eloquently and creatively, a trait that never fails to grab my attention.  Another reason is because of the beautiful baby girl of hers, and getting to see her grow and change!  You see, when I had Emma, I ended up struggling with post partum depression for a few months before realizing that my "baby blues" were something more and that it wasn't something I could take care of myself.  Therefore, I feel like I ended up not really appreciating the first few months of her life as much as I could have.  It was really hard living so far from home with a newborn and a husband who had to work long hours, and so I tended to just get swallowed up in a sadness that blinded me to the beautiful little miracle that God had entrusted us with. 

Looking back, this deeply saddens me and I can't help but feeling like I have lost out on some precious time that I'll never get back.  I think maybe that's why I enjoy Kelsey's blog so much.  Because I can see her little lady growing and thriving, and this really puts a smile on my face, because it helps me to remember things about Emma's first months that I thought I had forgotten.  Also, I am reminded at how much I L.O.V.E. being a mom, and how I feel I am ready for another little one.  I have decided that after I do have our next baby, that I will probably start some anti-depressants very soon after that so that I can really focus on and enjoy the new baby and his/her interactions with Emma, rather than plummeting into a crippling depression from the horomone levels being totally out of whack.  Anyhow, I guess this post was kind of a reminder to myself to enjoy every minute I have with her and to remember just how precious life is!

Late New Year's Resolution

Today I am making a resolution to try and be more patient and caring, especially with Emma.  This past weekend was a rough one for us, and I just want to make myself try harder not to lose my temper, because this little lady is the light of my life, and I never want her to doubt how much I love her!  So, now I expect my readers to hold me to this resolution and ask how it's going occassionally!  :)

Back to the Starting Line

Today I emailed the principal of the school where I interviewed twice for a Teacher Assistant job, and he emailed back saying that all but two of the positions have been filled, and those have been offered :(  I am kind of disappointed because I had two interviews, and I thought the first went really well, but not so much on the second.  I just feel like the questions they asked at the second interview were too specific to the teaching profession because I hadn't encountered the situations that they posed me with, and don't feel like I answered those questions very well.  Anyhow, I just have to keep my chin up, keep looking for jobs, and know that God will put me where I am needed most...but that's kind of hard sometimes....

Wonderful Week

Well, this past week in Missouri is truly the best time I have had in quite a while!  Mom and I had a wonderful time garage saling and found all sorts of goodies!  In fact, my Uncle Greg had to meet us at our hotel and take a toddler bed and several other bigger things back to my folks' house so that we would have room for the next day...and it's a good thing he did because we filled the van right back up!  Also, I got to spend some much needed time with my family and grandparents, and it was just nice to be back with them, if only for a week.

This week Emma is still down in Missouri and I'm back in Omaha.  Mom and Dad have been wanting her to stay there for a while now, and so it worked out good this way because they will be coming back here on Saturday so that they can see her be baptised on Sunday :)  It was kind of hard leaving her this time because I feel more attached to her now than I ever have.  However, even though I miss having her to snuggle-bug with, I am trying to enjoy my week to myself and the extra time with Nick!

One thing I am looking forward to this week is going to the Dermatologist.  It might seem silly to some, but could be a big thing for me because I have struggled with facial redness (sometimes severe) for several years, and I'm hoping they can give me something to help with that.  Somedays it literally looks like my head is on the wrong body because my body/neck is so fair, and then you come to my face and it is six shades of red :(  Sometimes it even shows through the makeup I wear, and so it's like there's no relief.  I just want to be able to go out without makeup and have everything look uniform and not weird, like it does now.  Anyhow, enough of that!  How about some photos of our trip to Missouri!?  Enjoy!

And The Excitement Builds!

A quick note:  This will probably be a boring post for most, but I'm so excited, and it's the best way to keep from going crazy tomorrow.
In two days Emma and I will be heading for a glorious week (well, two weeks for her!) back in Missouri!!!  Every year around this time I go back to Mo, and the first weekend of May Mom and I go garage saling in Liberty because that's their time to have lots of neighborhood-wide sales :)  Every year Nick is hesitant to see us go, but every year I remind him that this is our "deer hunting" time, and he eventually understands how this is just as important to me, as hunting is to him (thank God!)

Along with garage saling, I am REALLY looking forward to getting to see a few wonderful women because it's been way too long since our last visit!  Monday after arriving "home" I am getting together with a high school/lifelong friend and we are taking our munchkins to the park to let them play, which could be interesting :)  Then on Tuesday evening I am getting together with a great friend of mine from college whom I haven't seen in over a year!  She has a little boy who is two months younger than Emma, so it's going to be fun to see them interacting!  Finally, before our big finale on Friday/Saturday, Mom and I are spending Wednesday in Kansas City at Union Station seeing a Titanic exhibit! 

So, now that you are thoroughly bored, how about a few more recent pics to liven things up!  Enjoy :)

Update

Interview went good! Hoping to hear back in the next few weeks if they're interested in me :) That is all....

Job Possibility

Today I got a wonderful phone call! It was a school that I had applied for a Teacher's Assistant position at, and they want to interview me at 12:15 this Wednesday! I am so excited and thankful because this position sounds like it's just up my alley, and also because it's my parish's school!!! Anyhow, just a short and sweet post to update you on the happenings with us right now!

My Faith Journey

I know that Easter is the time to celebrate the sacrifice that Jesus made for me....for you....for everyone. But tonight, instead of elaborating on what that means for me and my family, I wanted to share with you my conversion story from Protestantism to Catholicism, and how Jesus has not only saved me from my sins, but has gotten my life back on track and has called me back to him.

On the night of April 7th, 2012, I feel as if I officially "came home" with my Confirmation into the Catholic Church!! I grew up in a household where we went to the Church of Christ (not LDS) when I was younger, and were pretty active until I was about 4 1/2 and we moved. After that we
really did not go to church much until we moved to my main childhood home, and
began attending the Baptist Church, where I was baptized. I never really felt a very strong connection to that church, or even others I attended in the area, and just sort of fell
away from church-going for several years. In 2009 my husband, Nick, and I got married in a Lutheran church, and became members there as our beliefs seemed to align with
theirs. Now, he had grown up Catholic and has been confirmed years earlier, but for whatever reason, he too had fallen away from the church. We half-heartedly tried to continue to go to church after our wedding, but seemedto feel no connection at that parish (noticing a trend here? ;))

On August 6th, 2010 we welcomed out daughter, Emma, into the world, and I began to think about how I wanted to raise her in a Christian home with strong values and morals, but it wasn't until December of 2010 that I even considered the Catholic church, as it was a topic brought up
to me by my brother, who was struggling to find where he felt he belonged as well. His thoughts gave me some fuel for though, and in August of 2011 my husband and I began to talk about our
daughter's religious future, and how we wanted the best for her and for our family.
It was then that he asked if I had ever considered Catholicism, to which I replied "Not really, but I would like to learn more about it because religion fascinates me." Lucky for me, he had found a parish that was preparing to start up Rcia classes, and so I signed up. Well, the more classes I attended, and the more I learned, the more I felt that I had a gross misunderstanding of the
Church and their ways, and the more I felt that their views totally made sense :)

So after 7-8 months of classes, retreats, scrutinies, and numerous other things, I finally made it to the Easter Vigil, and was confirmed last night :) I feel an incredible amount of support and community from this parish, and am amazed and how the Holy Spirit has worked in my life. If I had found what I thought I was looking for in the other churches, I never would have "returned" home :)

Easter Thoughts

It's hard to believe that in less than two weeks I will be going through the sacrament of Confirmation into the Catholic church! Back in September when I started my Rcia classes, I thought that April was a long ways away, but boy has it really flow by! I am so lucky to have gotten paired up with the Parish Companion that I did! Deanna has been the most wonderful and helpful woman I could have hoped for, not to mention she is incredibly thoughtful and Emma absolutely adores her!

Tomorrow is my first confession and, surprisingly, I'm not nervous for it! I took about an hour to write down the things I want to confess and feel really good about it all :) Ethan said his first time took 45 minutes, but I think I will be lucky if mine is even 10 minutes! Now I'm not saying that I'm better than him by any means...I just mean that I don't feel that I have to elaborate on a lot of my confessions. I will go into more detail where I feel the need, but that's about it. Anyhow, I am getting really excited for everything and love the new church family that I have found!

March Madness!!

This week Mom has been here with us and we have had a nice time! Really wishing she didn't have to leave tomorrow, but we will see them again around Easter for my confirmation :) Here are just a few photos from this past week of all the fun we have had! Enjoy!

Bugs and Visitors

We are working to fight off some sort of illness here at the Spotanski residence, as has been the case for the past two weeks or so :( It seems like now when Nick and I get sick, it's Emma that the bug originated from! I would think it would be more of the other way around, but seeing as how she does go to daycare once every two weeks, she's probably exposed to more illness than we are. Nick actually broke down and went to the Alegent Health Quick Care this evening because of a pretty bad earache, which he thought to be an infection. Turns out that all of the sinus drainage has somehow backed up a bit and is causing the pain, so they put him on an antibiotic. Tomorrow it's my turn to go because I have this cough that really hurts my chest when it starts up.

Hopefully they give me some antibiotics too, because on Tuesday Mom, Gma, Gpa, and my cousin Zack are all coming up for a visit! Mom is going to stay until Sunday (woo hoo!!!!) and the rest of the bunch are just making a day trip of it, which will still be nice, because I think the last time they were here was early last summer, if not earlier than that! I'm really excited to show off our "new" kitchen, and how we have the frontroom arranged! It's funny how a few changes can really alter the look of a place, and then it's really hard to imagine it looking any other way :) However, I think I am DIY-ed out for a while, and will settle for a smaller project (like painting the upstairs bathroom) for my next "renovation!" Needless to say, I am really looking forward to getting to spend some time with Mom, because it's been quite a while since she's stayed with us for a few days! For tonight, I will leave you with some of the more recent photos I have! Enjoy :)

She was fascinated by Lauren's Ipod Touch!

Having fun outside with Papa Harold :)

Family Plans?

Over the past week or so I seem to have been given signs that a baby might be in our future. First off, I started my usual pack of pills a week late because for one reason or another I got off track. Next, my parish companion, Deanna, said that she had a dream that I was pregnant again. And finally, Mom has been asking me what I think of different baby names this past week. I think there were a few other things, but can't remember right now! And in case you're wondering if there IS a chance I could be pregnant, the answer is YES! However, I won't know for a few more weeks. For some reason I just have a feeling that I could be, and am trying to figure out how I would feel if it were to come to frutition. I think initially I would be nervous about how Nick would feel, and would also be nervous about raising two kids. However, I do know that I would be excited as well, I just don't know how long it would take for that emotion to be the dominant one. Anyhow, I just had to get some of this off of my mind and onto the "paper" so I don't keep thinking about it :P Will let you know in a few weeks if any of these "signs" were real!

WW Thoughts

Today marks 5 days since I started the Weight Watchers Points Plus program and so far I am feeling pretty good about it. Mondays are my weigh-days, so I won't know if I lost any weight until then, but I do know that I have only had 2 pops this week, and the rest of the time I have drank water or Light Lemonade, whereas I used to have 3 pops or so per day, it seemed. I also haven't had any candy or crap food...when I needed a sweet I either had some fruit or a Weight Watcher's fudge bar. I also have been eating more veggies, namely baby carrots because those are about the only 0-points veggies I like. I do have a bag of prepped salad waiting when the mood strikes me :)
Today was the first day I had to use some of my Weekly Points because Nick wanted to meet at Arby's for lunch, which didn't put me over my daily allowance, but the Papa John's pizza we had did. However, I still have 37 weekly points which I plan to use some of on Sunday when Dad and I go to the movies and Buffalo Wild Wings :) Anyhow, I'm slightly anxious for my weigh-in on Monday because I really hope this is going to work for me as it's a plan I can see myself being able to do for a long time!

Weight Watchers

I don't think it's any secret that since I had Emma, my weight has been a struggle for me. A week after she was born, I was back within 5 pounds of my prepregnancy weight, and was thrilled! However, I began to have some post partum depression issues, and had to begin Zoloft, which caused my weight to steadily increase until I was right around the same weight that I was when I was 9 months pregnant (150 lbs). I had a bit of success with the HCG Diet wherein I lost about 6-7 pounds. However, this diet was one that was nearly impossible for me to stick with because it was sooooo calorie restrictive and food restrictive. We're talking you could have 500 calories per day.....yeah, more of a starvation diet if you think about it :(

Lately I have really been wanting to try the Weight Watchers program because I know many people who have had success with it, which is really encouraging :) I am going to be doing the program at home with a kit I purchased from a person on Craigslist. What I really love about this "diet" is that you can have almost all of the fruits and veggies that you like, and you can still have normal dinners because you are allotted a certain amount of points per day, and every food has a certain points value, even pizza! So anyhow, tomorrow is when I am going to start, so I am using today to figure up how many points are in some of the usual foods I eat, and also figuring out some substitues as well :) Fingers crossed for success!

Snow Day!!!

Today really marks the first "real" snowfall we have had so far this winter. Sure, back in December we got a skiff, but it ways maybe 1 inch at tht most. Today we have probably gotten 5-6" so far, and could get up to a foot! I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for a foot of the white stuff, but I honestly don't mind the snow since we have been lucky thus far! Our neighbors that live across this street have a little girl who is probably 4 years old, and this morning they were outside playing in the snow and Emma was glued to the window! So, we decided that it was time for her to get to see what it was all about :)

At first she was pretty uncertain, and couldn't get a good enough footing to walk well, but after we moved her to the partially plowed street, she really began to enjoy it! She ran up and down the street a few times, kicket some snow, and then sat down in it and began to pitch a fit when I decided it was time to go inside and thaw out! All in all I think she loved it, but what did I expect from such an outdoorsy girl!?

Taking her out to play reminded me of the snow days Evo and I spent sledding down the big hill we had for a front yard, trying to make a snow fort, having snowball fights, and making ice cream from snow. However, the memory that stands out most vividly was when I was in either 5th or 6th grade. We had gotten quite a bit of very heavy, very wet snow, and it had been quite windy, so there was a huge drift in front of our house. Ethan and I crawled behind the drift (on the side facing the house), and we proceeded to scoop snow out, leaving a little cave inside for use to crawl into. I literally think we play outside for hours that day, despite Mom's efforts to coax us back in with hot chocolate...which eventually worked!

Thinking back about all of that really is bittersweet, because I remember having such a blast doing that, but know that I most likely won't be the one doing those kinds of things with Emma, but rather, a sibling would. Sure we will play outside and have all sorts of fun, but there are some things that Mom and Dad just aren't the right part for :P Anyhow, here are a few photos of our outdoor excursions today!

DIY Spotanski's!

Ever since Nick bought our house, we got married and I moved in, and having Emma, we have only done some painting to it. Actually, we have painted every room except our entrance hallway/staircase, and our upstairs bathroom. The downstairs is a deep green, the downstairs bathroom is dark brown-ish gray, our bedroom is a turquoise blue, and Emma's room is a soft yellow. However, lately we have been watching DIY shows and have wanted to try and do something new to our kitchen, so here's our plan:

So, as you can see, we have plans to: replace our current stainless steel sink with this tan-ish colored one, put in a new oil rubbed bronze faucet, and to put a backsplash up under the cabinets and all the way around! The tile is a mix of nude, beige, brown, and greens, which I think will really go well with our current paint color, and which will also go well with a neutral beige color which we will revert the wall to before putting our home on the market someday. In order for us to get all of this done, Emma will be going to stay with my folks for a week in about two weeks. Hopefully this will be enough time for us to give our kitchen a mini facelift! Before and after pictures to come!

My Roots

Writing has been a big part of my life for a long time now. The first time I REALLY got into it was in fourth grade when my English teacher, Mrs. Grant, gave us an assignment to make up a story that had to be a few pages long. Well, being a story-teller this came naturally to me, and that night I wrote a few pages, and then a few more, and then a few more, until this "assignment" had become much more than that to me. The more I wrote the more I loved it, because I could write about anything and be anyone, if only for an hour or so. At this time I was fascinated with Indians....err, Native Americans, and so most of my stories were based around an Indian tribe, particularly a protagonist by the name of Wind Flower, and then antagonist, Obacheask.

Then, I discovered my fascination with Louis L'Amour and the West. Countless stories started off sent back in the 1800's or around the time of the Oregon Trail, and there always had to be a rogue appearance from a Native American to appease my continued love of their culture(s). Along with writing, I now began to "illustrate" my own "covers", as well as drawing maps for the readers which I anticipated having someday :)

Poetry eventually worked its way into my life, and with it came a whole other type of creativity, whether it be with rhyming, free verse, or other poetic devices. I have many binders and self-made booklets of my poems packed away somewhere, for whenever I want to read them for myself or to Emma! Once poem that really sticks out in my mind was entitled "Garage Saling" and it was a poem I wrote and won a first place award for at a library in Saint Joseph :) This is one of only two pieces of writing I have had published, the second being a short story about our heritage that was written for a contest in the Missouri Conservation magazine.

From 2004-2009 my writing skills were put to the test in multiple classes and Missouri Western State University. During the five years that I attended college, never once did I write a creative piece...leading me to be convinced that Professor were just trying to suck the creativity out of your being. But, creativity isn't something that can be stamped out simply by writing hundreds of theory, analytical, or historical papers. For me, being creative isn't something that I can produce on demand....sure I could've taken Creative Writing classes if I had wished, but for me, my writing loses something when there is someone expecting a poem or a short story in two day's time. However, in the end, and after hundreds and hundreds of hours researching, writing, editing, and rewriting, I finally got my English Degree on May 9th, 2009.

And now I am married, have a 1.5 year old daughter, and blogging is the main type of writing that consumes my time. Sometimes I really get nostalgic for the days when I could go sit in the old Smoke tree at Grandma and Grandpa's and just write, and write, and write. Funny how things change as time passes, but if it's something that one is passionate about, they still manage to incorporate it into their being, even if it's shape has to morph in order to fit.

Let the Good Times Roll

Lately things have been going pretty good for us here, despite it being Nick's busy time of year at work :) Emma has been in a really good mood and is learning to play by herself more, which is really neat to see her doing! She's also learned to blow kisses and play ball. When we take her to daycare once every two weeks she loves getting to play with the other kids, and at the playplace in the mall she just smiles watching all of the kids run around and play. In the past month or so, Nick has mentioned wanting to have another baby someday. I think it finally dawned on him one evening that Mom and I were talking about how lonely my cousin, Lauren, is as an only child, that Emma could be lonely too and that she really needs a sibling! This was all a really big surprise to me because he had made it known many times that he didn't want anymore kids, and I am happy about his change of heart!

We haven't really decided when to start trying again, but I imaging that within the next year or so the timing will be right. My biggest worry is space and juggling two kids at home by myself. As far as space goes we would have to keep the baby in our room in a bassinett/playpen until they began sleeping through the night, at which time we could move them to Emma's room. Our room is already pretty cramped, and another thing in there certainly wouldn't help the situation any, not to mention trying not to wake the baby when we are tossing and turning in bed, as neither of us are good sleepers. If anyone reading this has any ideas I would be glad to hear them! So it looks like there could be a new little Spotanski sometime in the future, which is certainly [good] news to me!